Sorrow and Blessings

This is the first time I have had a chance to just breathe in 3 days. Sunday night there was an accident near Hanksville, Utah. My brother in law, my sister and her 3 kids plus friends were in a horrible accident. We have lost my brother in law, my 7 year old niece which was our princess and my 15 year old nephew. I can't figure out words that describe our lost. I just have sat and cried for days and the tears seem to keep flowing and the engery keeps going. There have been times that my family has not slept for 2 days. During all this sorrow, there have been many blessings and seeds planted of the gospel. I have just sat and cried with many of my sisters because we have been so overwhelmed with the gratitude we feel for people and strangers we don't even know. I talked to a lady that donated a hand built casket for my beloved niece. It was just an amazing thing that this stranger is doing for us. We have had so many strangers tell us they are coming to the funeral to support the family because of the sorrow they have felt. There was a man that stopped right after the accident, at the time my sister was trying to lift the car which was on my niece. That kind stranger did cpr on my dear Alissa for 45 minutes until the highway patrol pulled him off and he went to my precious Tyler and then to my great Brother in Law. He has called my family because he has felt the same loss as we. He will be at the funeral and we are grateful that he will be there to help us through this trying time. We have people looking for my Alissa's scotty dog which was alive with the other dogs. We are still amazed and grateful the the grace of our heavenly father to allow my dear sister and amazing 10 year old nephew Marky (ping) to come out with only a few bumps. My nephew Ping is just a little man. He has been telling us about the accident and what he saw. Sometimes in more detail than we can even handle and he has just stayed strong. He will occasionally say random comments as he allows himself to really feel things. Tonight he said that he wishes God would just take people when they were too old to do anything. Such insight and such a great little boy who is so strong and sometimes will come and cheer us up when we are having our moments. I happen to be having one of those moments and he just said its ok, and gave me a hug... then of course he knows that playing WII takes my mind of things.. and tells me he is going to kick my butt in tennis. Its amazing how much strength he gives kids who have seen more than any adult should see. My sister is another story, she was praying last week and asked for a sign to see if there really was a god. She however, has been willing to listen to all of us about the plan of salvation and what we are hear on earth for. The hardest thing for me to see is her sitting there with stitches and bruises holding my Alissa and Tylers favorite stuff animals. She refused to wash her right hand because it has Alissa's blood on it and believes that is the only thing she has of her daughter. So many heart wrenching times, yet I am trying to keep that peace I felt on Sunday when we found out. I am just still working through my emotions, trying to keep them under control and yet in many times we all just fall apart. People coming to the house that we don't even know, and seeing the tears of Tyler's best friends that are just torn apart. Their old teachers and people who were always there for them. Their ward has been awesome. We have recieved so much food at my sisters house. Although I am really tired on cold cuts and rolls.. we have had that for 3 days.. today someone brought great pasta salad and soup it was a nice change. However, we are so blessed to have people care so much about my sister and her family that they would care to bring so much in. Well I have to go to bed, the viewing is tomorrow. Its going to be a hard day and Friday is the funeral. I just keep the thought of eternity and that heavenly father has a plan for us and he is there with us carrying us through the hard times. I will write more and post pictures as I can.